Game of Thrones Finale

Beware, there will be spoilers.

This concerns the 03rd June 2012 ep of GoT (S02E10).

First off, some people got very excited beforehand that this episode would be longer than they normally are. And it makes sense, too - it's the finale, and no storyline is really close to being finished, except the King's Landing one, which was finished last week.

But then... Uhm, it's like 65 minutes instead of the previous week's 56 minutes, so that's like 9 generous minutes extra, woot. But seriously, it takes like four minutes before the episode even starts after the 'previously on...' and the intro, which has this incredibly brilliant music, but is also getting annoyingly long, really.

There'll be a rather detailed blow by blow after the jump break, so longish post is longish.




***

Okay, so Tyrion wakes up. I loved the effect of the fire reflecting in his eyes, and with what seems to be only a blink, he wakes up safe and sound in a bed. It's not really clear yet how he feels about it all, but I'd understand if he were furiously disappointed. Here he had just saved the day, and then needed saving, and who comes to his rescue but the father that always always saw him as a terrible failure. Now not only is he not the hero he was supposed to be after heroically stepping up as commander during the battle, he's not Hand anymore either, and relocated to some tiny hole. TBH I find it a bit hard to believe that the king's uncle would be made to live in such quarters, even if he isn't Hand of the King. But oh well, if there's a way to visually underline a  character's predicament or role, be sure that GRRM takes it, just to make sure that his mentally impaired readers/viewers really get what  astounding CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he is undertaking here.

That Maester (who is he now? wasn't there an older dude?) treats Tyrion quite disrespectfully, considering who he is and what he actually is capable of even without any officially sanctioned power.

***

And then Horse Shit. Literally. Thank you for the visualisation?

Ooooh so Margaery Tyrell, She Who Wears Ridiculous Dresses, has come 'to love [Joffrey] from afar'. I suppose loving him close up would be asking a bit much anyway. They want to marry the two - she looks a bit older than him, but he seems interested, probably in her cleavage, which is very ridiculous. And she looks a bit like a promiscuous Sansa anyway. And she totally knows how to play him as well, with the flattery and the innuendo. Seriously, WHO has told tales of Joffrey's bravery? And then Cersei talks Sansa down in front of the entire court as soon as someone else comes along... why again did she groom her and keep her around anyway?

Also, I love how quickly this all suddenly goes. They could have made a new match for Joffrey the minute Ned Stark's head went up on that pike. There was no reason for them to keep Sansa around as his 'betrothed'. Apparently, the Maester had spoken to the High Septon prior to this scene, so why didn't they inform Joffrey before? Sansa is no politically appealing match, she doesn't have money, why should she still be to marry the King.... up until some other girl comes around and offers herself up? Isn't it usually the way that some match is carefully sought out?

And wait...  didn't Sansa leave with the Hound then? But she's so aware of having dodged a bullet, haha. God it's weird to see her smile.
Littlefinger is a bit creepy here. I'm not sure if he's being all nice uncle, or trying to recruite her to his bordello, or what.

***

And Roz makes Varys laugh - another laugh I don't think I've really seen/heard. What a laughy episode.WOAH she was quick with her makeup!

***

Aaand three deaths - what happened to knocking people unconscious or idk just outrunning them? But I guess they felt need to show what a fighter the woman is. ROAR ROAR HEAR HER ROAR.

***

Right, so that's Stannis Baratheon's angry face... it's... uhm... let's move on. His facial expressions are just uncountable. Also I could not care less about Stannis and his wicca woman in general. They are part of the plot, but do I need their POV? And shouldn't Stannis be a prisoner of the Lannisters by now? He was like on their wall in the middle of it all when they were overrun...

***

Why did they have to make Theon unsympathetic, incompetent, ungrateful, AND give him those weird teeth? Like, Cersei is personified Evil, but they still let her keep her good looks. Even Stannis, who isn't a looker, doesn't appear like he got some evolutionary disadvantage. Theon just looks unhealthy.

Ah I was waiting for someone/something to shut him up. What a pathetic speech... No one would remember a thing. Who would? History is written by the victors, and there would be no Iron Born to carry their tale back home.

But why do they have to stab the old Maester? It's like... was he going to stop them from leaving? No. Would anything have changed if he hadn't been stabbed? No. But hey, another random death to throw in there, why on earth not!



I somehow fail to really get into this attempt to make Tyrion all tragic. They built his character up as wisecracking superhero for ages. They can't tear him down in one quick movement like that. He should at least struggle.

***

The warlocks fight with sorcery, not with steel... except for those massive rusty spikes on their building. And of course Daenerys is just so magical that she can find the magical entrance that no one else can find. Magically. I do love her and she's still possibly my favourite female character in this franchise, but heavens the clichés around her character are unbearable. Or she was magically beamed inside by the warlocks, who want to have her around because... she's such a special snowflake? Yelling at them will definitely help.

***

Maester Luwin seems surprisingly well for someone who's been dying for a couple of hours. How did he even get under that tree? And he's like the doctor of Winterfell, why doesn't he do something to heal himself? Has he got a death wish? Oh well, I don't think that random deaths are something to get upset over in this franchise, especially not in this episode. Yay for Bran having a wheelbarrowchairthing!

***

House of the Undying looks a lot like a video game dungeon. I'm expecting all sorts of creatures to spawn around her.

And here come the creepy prophecies.

Awww Khal Drogo. I never did get the chemistry between them, but still, aww. She must miss him.

Creepy warlocks are creepy stereotypes with their blue lips and baldness.

What is this... Oh no, I can conjure chains from nowhere, I can steal these dragons and steal Daenerys and create snowy landscapes in my tower, but EEK FIRE ON MY ARM!!!! I'M MELTING!   run through the door into the snow you idiot. And... That's it? You just needed to put him on dragon fire? Have those dragons no self preservation instincts? Why didn't they blast him with fire when he stole them in the first place? Can they only do it when she commands them to?

Uhm wait, was that it? I distinctly remember there being more prophecies, and actual future canon relevant prophecies at that...

***

Jon SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOH is back with his troop of snow camouflaged wildlings. Well that death was forseeable and I love the conflict in his face. First kill, is it? And then someone who sacrificed himself for Jon... Cool, village in a valley. That should be interesting. Perhaps. Idk. I still really haven't made my mind up about all that beyond the wall stuff. Like why their incestuous offspring looks disfigured whereas the Targaryens are beautiful beings with purple eyes and fair hair. And the two Lannister kids that aren't Joffrey look perfectly normal as well. What gives...

***

Why exactly is Daenerys' handmaiden sleeping with that rich guy now? Is it necessary to the plot? Does it bear any relevance to anything. Ah well. Wait WHAT? Why is she a cold hearted cruel bitch now? What sense makes this??? That girl was like her FRIEND for months! She made one mistake, and what? What is going on there? Since when does Daenerys torture people to their deaths? Wonder if Jorah still thinks she'd make such a perfect queen. Gosh and now a plundering horde. When did this character change take place again? Is this the same girl that was literally two days ago telling her people that they couldn't steal a statue?

***

Aaaaaand it's the Zombie army. The thing that was  one of the advertising points of the trailer for this season happens literally in the last minute. Three blasts mean... others. And this looks like an ancient Other. But some of them look like right from The Walking Dead as well. I pictured them somewhat differently, more like that ancient one, but oh well. They can't all be beautiful.


*****




There are always interesting parts to those episode and parts taht aren't really all that interesting. Of course, if you want to tell those characters' stories, you have to show, for example, how Arya gets that coin (and without that scene the episode's title wouldn't have made any sense either), or how Robb tells his mother that he's not going to make his promised match. I know that these things are important for later on. Next series, we'll see how Joffrey's new betrothal is going to affect Sansa and Joffrey's ruling policies, how Margaery is going to turn out, what Cersei thinks of her - so it's important that we see the match being made. And then we'll see Bran and his company on the run, or having arrived somewhere, so their getting away is important. It just... It feels like so much for an hour (which it is once you take away the intro and credits). Maybe I'm noticing this particularly much because of the focus last week's episode had, but it's just such a huge difference, and honestly, I preferred last week's. This is why I stopped reading hte books, and it's a huge turn off for me even with the series, which I generally find easier to stick with. Some characters get like two minutes of POV time, but still they're wedged in there, disrupting the mood of other scenes, completely taking away from another character's moment. I cannot get emotionally involved in Robb's relationship, even though it's great and romantic that they find each other in the midst of battle. But how can I get invested in them if they're only there for three minutes or so per week? Less this week, I'd actually guess. And this was their WEDDING. I get that this show must be very expensive to make, but once you have your actors in iceland or whereever and have the costumes made, would it be that much more expensive to add like half an hour per episode, split them up into 20 45 minute episodes rather than 10 60 minute ones? There are just too many characters and plotlines to squeeze them all into those episodes. The better weeks are always those in which they don't attempt to cover everyone's POV but limit themselves to a bunch.

The most unnecessary one still seems to be Stannis'...

I'll still be tuning in when/if it continues (I actually need to look that up), but I just can't really muster a whole lot of enthusiasm. I like reading the characters' stories... on some wiki page. There's a lot of wasted potential there because no one had the guts to tell GRRM to get an editor or something. If he cut like a third of it all... or just a quarter even! Tighten up the story...
A friend of mine finished reading the most recent book a couple of days ago and had it with him when we met up a while back, and it's like... as thick as it is wide. No one should have that much freedom as an author. It's over 1k pages.

As a finale, this did feel very much like they tried to cram all sorts of developments in varying degrees of reasonability in there just to keep it interesting. There are some very strange character changes here that could just as well have happened two or three episodes ago, but no, they all had to happen around the same time in this totally crammed finale. Whatever.